Fantasy vs. Reality

“A combination of naïveté and deception, of charm and vulgarity, of blue sulks and rosy mirth, Lolita, when she chose, could be a most exasperating brat. I was not really quite prepared for her fits of disorganized boredom, intense and vehement griping, her sprawling, droopy, dopey-eyed style, and what is called goofing off – a kind of diffused clowning which she thought was tough in a boyish hoodlum way. Mentally, I found her a disgustingly conventional little girl.” (148)

In this passage, the real Lolita once again falls short of Humbert's idealized version. Humbert fantasizes about a nymphet with all of the “desirable” qualities of children – innocence, vulnerability, and charm – but with none of their annoying habits. In reality, however, this perfect child does not exist; children, by nature, are often “exasperating brats” with a tendency to start “goofing off” at inopportune times. Lolita, despite her attempts to fill the sexual role of a woman, is still very obviously an immature girl. In an effort to ensure sexual favors, Humbert uses empty threats to take advantage of Lolita's naivety, much like parents trick their children into behaving. As he finds himself with a real-life child on his hands, Humbert is forced to take on an almost fatherly role for which he “was not really quite prepared.”

Humbert's characterization of Lolita as “a disgustingly conventional little girl” also further reveals his preoccupation with her appearance rather than her personality. He finds all of Lolita's tastes, interests, and habits terribly cliché and seems to only find her satisfying sexually. He is clearly not “in love” with Lolita as he so often claims, but rather infatuated with the idea of her as the culmination of his lifelong fantasies. Although Lolita clearly doesn't live up to his lofty ideals, Humbert desperately clings to any evidence of his perfect nymphet that he finds within her.

Q: Who really has the upper hand in this relationship – Humbert or Lolita?