Humbert's Confession

“You may jeer at me, and threaten to clear the court, but untiI am gagged and half-throttled, I will shout my poor truth. I will insist the world know how much I loved my Lolita, this Lolita, pale and polluted, big with another’s child…still auburn and almond, still Carmencita, still mine…I would go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of your dear wan face, at the mere sound of your raucous young voice, my Lolita.” pg 278

This passage takes place when Humbert finally tracks Lolita down, seeing her for the first time since they split. He discovers she has grown well past her nymphet stage, pregnant with the baby of her current husband, Dick. Although he notes how much he has changed physically, Humbert realizes he still deeply loves her.

Humbert’s realization of his love for Lolita, in this moment, ties together the whole idea of fantasy and reality we have faced throughout the novel between his and Lolita’s relationship. Until now, Humbert’s obsession with Lolita has been more of an idealization of Lolita, as he does everything he can to ensure that she lived up to his fantasy of the perfect nymphet. As he even goes as far to state earlier in the novel that he found her a “disgustingly conventional little girl,” we know at that point he did not love Lolita for Lolita—he fantasized about her nymphetic qualities and her appearance, as well as her ability to satisfy him sexually.

In this instance, however, we seem to see a true change in Humbert. His love for Lolita becomes more real that ever as he claims that he loves her truly for herself, regardless of the loss of her nyphetic qualities and her current physical state. It looks like what started out as lust directed towards a seemingly perfect nymphet has turned into true love, according to Humbert, as he claims he loves and will continue to love her deeply no matter what. Humbert hands Lolita money regardless of her firmly stating that she will not come away with him, and it seems that his love for her now represents a genuinely selfless devotion.

Q: What do make of Humbert’s confession? Do we excuse him for his crimes now that it seems like he does, at this point, sincerely care for Lolita’s well-being?